Bloggers Can Be Friends Too

I have written a lot about my friends, how awesome they are, and how I don't know what I'd do without them. I've always believed that quality is much more important than quantity when it comes to friendship. There is no question in my mind that I would always choose a small group of close friends over a large group of people who I'm not as close with. My best friends are from across the country, and we met at different places and stages in our lives. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college, summer camp, summer program, internship. We have been roommates, suitemates, hallmates, and bunkmates. We have partied, laughed, cried, celebrated, consoled, traveled, danced, learned, and shopped together. I have countless wonderful memories with my friends, and I am so grateful to have them in my life.

Since I started blogging, tweeting, and networking across the Web 2.0 world, the concept of friendship has crossed my mind often. One common criticism of sites like Facebook and Myspace has been that they cause a disconnect between people, and prevent them from learning how to have real relationships with one another. This argument could definitely be made for teenagers, but as for us 20-somethings, I don't think it applies. Blogging has allowed me to connect to some wonderful people who I may never have met otherwise.

I don't consider myself "friends" with every person who reads my blog, but I love learning about people and finding out how much we have in common. I realize that forming an actual friendship takes more effort and requires one-on-one conversation, and I've been lucky enough to find that with a few special people. For example, without the digital world, I would never have known that a really awesome girl named Grace out in Colorado shares my love of reading, among other things, and we would have never started our online book club, Blogging Bookworms. And, I wouldn't have gotten to know cool people from across the country (Chicago, Nashville, California) and across the world (Canada, Indonesia).

So, take advantage of the great big digital world that you're lucky enough to be a part of. Make the extra effort to get to know some of your fellow bloggers. You never know, it just might blossom into a wonderful friendship!

Six Easy Ways to Show Your Friends Some Love

I don't know where I would be without my friends. As I've written before, I have friends from a variety of different stages and places in my life: camp, first hometown, second hometown, temple, summer programs, semester programs, etc. Some live farther away than others, some I've lost touch with and reconnected again, I talk to some more often than others, but all of them are very important to me.

A true friendship is one where both people care enough about each other to put in the effort, and it withstands the tests of time and distance. I try my best to show my friends how much they mean to me whenever I can. Small things like sending cards for birthdays and holidays can make a big difference. I just started subscribing to Glamour Magazine, and there was a great article in the April issue called, "Six Little Ways to Be a Better Friend." (You can read the full article on MSN.) Here is a list of the six things and my thoughts on them:

1) Put her on your to-do list
According to the article, friends are often one of the first things we neglect when life gets busy. I definitely agree. Over the past year of craziness in my life, I definitely haven't made enough time for my friends. But, remember: in this age of technology, a quick text message or e-mail to check in is a great solution until you can find the time to call or meet up. Also, try actually putting your friend's name on your to-do list. It's so crazy, it just might work!

2) Be there in bad times, too
This one really speaks to me. "When her life sucks, you may not know what to say, but you don't need all the right words. Just show up." As someone who has gone through some pretty sucky stuff recently, I can't tell you how important this is. There is a common misconception that when something's wrong you always have to say something about it, but the truth is that not saying anything might be even better. Go out to dinner, watch a funny movie, shop, talk about gossip...just be there. You don't have to say anything, just be there to support your friend, and if she wants to talk about whatever's going on, she will. But, a couple words of advice: when someone's going through a tough time, don't say you'll there for them if you won't follow through. And, just because they don't ask for help or support, doesn't mean they don't need it, in fact, in probably means they need it even more.

3) Don't over-advise
Be careful when sharing your opinion on something. There are times when friends just want you to listen, so don't be too quick to give your advice. If they ask you straight out what you think, then give your honest opinion, but keep their feelings in mind.

4) Accept her weaknesses
We're not perfect, and neither are our friends. Recognize that certain people are better at certain things, and deal with them accordingly. It's okay to have certain friends who you don't share everything with, especially if they're not so good with serious situations. Look for their strengths and the things you have in common that made you friends in the first place instead of dwelling on the negative.

5) Be cash-conscious
The economy sucks, and it's important to realize that some of your friends may be more greatly affected than you are. So, keep that in mind when you make plans. Maybe try having a girls night in instead of a girls night out, or go out earlier so you can take advantage of drink deals. When you're giving gifts, try and find something useful and relevant, but don't focus too much on the price tag.

6) Look out for her--even when she's not looking
Sites like Facebook and MySpace make this one particularly relevant today. One of the examples they give in the article is "tag only flattering pictures of her." Most of us probably don't think twice when we post our weekend pics, but maybe we should. Something may look funny to us, but if we were the one in the picture, would we want it posted for the world to see? And, stand up for your friends. If you hear something bashing them, don't just stand by and say nothing. Wouldn't you want them to do the same for you?

"The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on the porch and swing with, never say a word, and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had."

Friendships are relationships. They grow and change with time. If you stop putting in the effort, chances are your friend will too. It's so important to appreciate your friends. Blog about them, give them a Twitter shout out, send them a goofy e-card to make them smile. Thank them for being there for you, and tell them how important they are to you. If not now, when? You never know what tomorrow will bring. Just remember that the little things go a long way.

Moving Away and Moving On

When I was 16, my family and I moved from Hingham, MA to Stony Brook, NY. I left everything I'd ever known and started over. We moved for my dad's job. He wasn't happy where he was, and wanted to find somewhere new. He's a rabbi, and that's one of the few jobs where you don't really have many other options if you're looking for a change. Fortunately, my dad and I have always been close, and I know he's great at what he does, so I supported him. However, this just means that I didn't go kicking and screaming, I didn't say I would hate him forever, and I didn't rebel to get back at him. It doesn't mean that I was happy about moving. I'm sure there are a lot of people who have moved countless times, but this one time was major for me. It taught me a lot about myself, about friendship, and about making the most of new opportunities.

As a teenager, I was never really part of a set group. I had a good number of friends, and I just kind of floated between groups and tried to spend time with everyone. Over the years, I had a few really close friends, and we had some pretty amazing times together. Right before I moved, I had a going away party. All of my friends were there and everyone took part in making me a scrapbook to bring with me to my new home. We all promised to stay in touch and I intended to follow through on this promise. The thing that I didn't realize then is that teenagers are unreliable. Try as they might, there's just too much going on in those formative years.

For the first few months, I was pretty miserable. I had gone from a four grade high school with 800 kids, to a three grade high school with 1600 kids. Everyone at my new school had known each other forever, and I was the token new kid. I'd love to say that it was the stress of adjusting to this new place that caused me to break my promise, but really, I sucked at keeping in touch. I tried for a while, and got frustrated when my efforts weren't reciprocated. My best friend was the only one who really made the effort. Despite a couple of bumps in the road during college, due to stupid miscommunication and an overreaction on my part, she and I are still great friends, and I am so grateful to have her in my life. As for pretty much everyone else, Facebook friendship is as far as it goes at this point.

At the beginning, I was pretty hurt. Why didn't my friends want to make the effort to keep in touch with me? Out of sight, out of mind? I was all alone in a new place with very few friends, and all I wanted was to know that the people I had grown up with still cared about me. In retrospect, just because we fell out of touch doesn't mean they didn't care. We were juniors in high school, with crushes, college applications, extracurriculars and countless other things to worry about, and keeping in touch takes a lot of time and energy.

Looking back now, I know the experience taught me a lot. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. A new situation is a perfect opportunity to become a better version of yourself. It's not worth dwelling on things you have no control over. When you're thrown into a new situation, take the opportunity to meet new people, be more outgoing, try new things. Be grateful for the friends you have, the ones who truly care about you. It really is quality over quantity.

Sometimes, I look through Facebook photos of people I used to know and wish that things had turned out differently. Part of me wishes that we had never moved, but then I would never have met some of the people who are important to me now. I have amazing friends, most of whom I've met since moving. Some of them even live far away and still keep in touch. You never know, somewhere down the road I could reconnect with my old friends. I still miss them sometimes and I proabably always will. I guess what I'm trying to say in this post is that new situations don't have to be all scary and negative. Like most things, it's what you make of it, and chances are that you'll look back and find that you're a stronger person as a result.

Challenge: Do Something Nice For Your Digital Friends

Last night was one of those times when a bunch of little annoying things happen at once and you wind up super frustrated. So, I thought a nice way to ensure today was a better day would be to do something nice for my digital friends and encourage others to do the same. Here are some ideas:

• Read and comment on a blog you've never read or commented on before.
• Write an e-mail to your favorite networking site and tell them what they've done right.
• Follow someone who is new to Twitter. It might just be the encouragement they need.
• Look through your blog comments and check out the commenters' blogs.
• Find a blog you read frequently that has the followers feature and become a follower.
• Tweet all of your tweeps and thank them for following you (feel free to RT @sameve).
• Post a comment on this entry and give a shout out to a great blog that's not getting enough attention.

So, accept the challenge! Do just one of these things and make someone smile. Chances are that someone else will do something nice for you in return. Even if they don't, it's still worth it. Have a great day!

The Power of Facebook to Reconnect

Oh, Facebook. It never ceases to amaze me. Some people love it, some hate it, but everyone agrees that the concept behind it is nothing short of genius. Back when Facebook was founded in 2004, I was still a senior in high school, and when Facebook began to take over the world later that year, I was starting my college years at QU. So, in a weird way, Facebook has grown as matured as I have. Back in the day (hey, in Internet years, it's been a long time!) you could only join Facebook if you had a college e-mail address. Then they expanded to high school, and eventually offered company networks and the "no network" option. Over the past 5 years, Facebook has endured a litany of criticism on various issues (especially the infamous news feed), but it has continued to suceed, expand and prosper.

Okay, I bet you're wondering why I'm giving a Facebook history lesson here, so I'll get to my point. The reason I love Facebook is for what it was originally created to do: connect people. As someone who has always had friends all over the country, FB has allowed me to keep tabs on the people I care about. "Facebook stalking," creepy though it may sound, is actually a very useful way to stay up to date on your friends lives. Let me make it clear that I don't believe Facebook (or any other social networking site or application) should replace real person-to-person contact, or the phone for that matter, but I don't agree with those who say social sites prevent young people from learning how to communicate. It's just a different way of communicating.

Just recently, an old friend who I hadn't spoken to in a long time wrote on my wall to say she's been thinking of me and hopes I'm doing well. It made me smile, and I'm glad she had a way to send me this message. A few weeks ago, I became Facebook friends with a girl, now young woman, who I used to babysit for when she was younger. I'd been wondering for a long time how she was doing, and when I found out she is now a college freshman, I thought I'd try to connect through Facebook. (Once I got over the shock, of course.) I can leave messages whenever I want, even for friends in different time zones, I can play a game of Scrabble with someone across the country or across the world, and I can get a life update on hundreds of friends in a matter of minutes. At CPX, we're using Facebook as another way to get our name out there with a fan page.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that Facebook is without faults, and some of the changes haven't been for the good, in my opinion. For example, I'm not so keen on the idea of my parents getting an account, fortunately they're not either at this point. But, I will always be grateful for the invaluable opportunity to reconnect. So, the next time you're annoyed at FB for some reason, think about all the people you wouldn't be in touch with otherwise. Everyone has a story.

Being Thankful for the Good Things

Sometimes life can get pretty overwhelming. Bad things happen, things change, hearts break, life as you knew it disappears. It's so easy to drown in sorrow and let the negative things consume you. Sure, there are days when you just need to be sad and let yourself feel the things you'd rather not feel. But, if you're lucky, there are people in your life who will be with you through it all. They'll support you in different ways, and you may not even fully realize what they mean to you until one seemingly small gesture or an unexpected call or e-mail. Even if they can't physically be there for you, knowing they truly care is just as important.

I am so thankful for my friends and family and the people who care about me. I don't know where I'd be without them. And I am very grateful for my job at CPX Interactive. After applying to near 80 positions, I am so lucky to have ended up at such a great company. There are times when you can't help but get lost in the negative, but make sure you take a moment to enjoy the positive things in your life. On that note, thank you to everyone who reminds me of the positive. You are my foundation...

The Amazing World of Electronics and Internet

I've been talking with a few of the execs here to learn more about their history, and how they ended up at CPX. It's so amazing to think about just how much the Internet has changed and developed in my lifetime. I know I sound like an old fogey, but think back to your teenage years or earlier...it's just crazy the advances that have been made.

It's interesting though how the younger generations tend to take this technology for granted. They can't imagine a world without Internet, Facebook, iPods, smartphones, and cell phones. Who knows what the future will hold? I just hope it doesn't get to the point where people don't have real conversations anymore. If you saw Wall-E, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, technology is great, and without it, we would have a lot harder time keeping in touch with people who we don't see every day. With friends who are across the country and around the world right now, I'm so grateful for IM, e-mail, and web cams.

But, I don't ever want to get to the point where I'm so engrossed in my technological world that I forget about the importance of human contact. There is nothing like a face to face conversation or a hug from a friend. Every time I feel like I've been glued to the computer screen for too long, I just think about those people in Wall-E who sat in their chairs all day with their digital screen in their face, and didn't even know there were other people all around them. What a horrible tragedy it would be if that actually happened in our world.