Is Blood Really Thicker Than Water?

We are forever connected to our family through our blood, our shared history, our similar traits and features. If not for our parents, we wouldn't be here, if not for our grandparents, our parents would never have been born...the chain goes on and on. Some people have very close-knit families, and some do not. There are so many factors that affect our family relationships: age, distance, common interests, tradition, the precedent set by previous generations. Friends may come and go, relationships may change, but no matter what, our family will always be our family.

My family has always been very important to me. I'm fortunate enough to have close relationships with both of my parents, and though I never lived near my extended family, my grandparents and aunts and uncles did the best they could to make me feel loved. As the only girl on either side of the family, connecting with my five first cousins was often tough. That said, I am very grateful for my cousin Adam. As only children and rabbis kids, we have always had a lot in common and we remain close to this day.

As with all relationships, things change over time. We grow up and our lives take different paths, sometimes we become closer, sometimes farther apart. The family tree loses branches and grows new ones in different places, but the roots are still there.

So, why am I writing this post? Family relationships are complicated, and no two stories are completely alike. Recently, I have witnessed a dramatic change in the relationships between several members of my family. One has decided that he is going to do things for himself, regardless of how it affects others. This new philosophy has caused a rift between him and others, as he has become so consumed in it that he is no longer the same person he once was. He has always been a generous person, very giving, and so I commend his efforts to pay more attention to himself. However, he was also a funny, kind person who valued and cared about his family, and that part of him is gone.

I wasn't quite sure how to write about these things, and I'm not sure that this was the best I could have done. But, watching this change has been so difficult for me that I had to express it somehow. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything I can do to make it better. Regardless, for me, blood is thicker than water. I love my family, and I always will. No matter how much life changes, no matter how much our paths diverge, no matter what conflicts may arise, they are my family, and that is a tie that can never be broken.

If You Forgive, But Don't Forget, Can You Ever Move On?

We've all heard this mantra before, "forgive, but don't forget." It's often seen as a compromise between continued animosity and getting over the issue completely. But, there are a number of flaws in this rationale. Even if you are willing to forgive, the simple fact that you will never forget how someone has wronged you means that your relationship with that person could be forever changed. That wrongdoing will always be in the back of your mind.

Am I saying that we should only forgive someone if we really mean it? If we're sure that we can work to get the relatinoship back to where it was before? Not necessarily. Forgiveness is a tough thing. How many of us have been able to say I forgive you, and mean it 100%? Some people are easy to forgive, some find the strength to forgive and move on in the most difficult situations.

If you've turned on a TV, gone online, or opened a magazine in the past month, you know about the incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown. Well, the most recent turn of events in that storyline fits right in with the topic of forgiveness. Rumors are swirling that Rihanna and Brown have reconciled and are allegedly back together. My intial gut reaction is how could she forgive someone who, despite his love for her, beat her up and left her to suffer less than a month ago? Has she decided to forgive, but not forget? If so, can their relationship ever be the same? Would she be better off cutting ties with him completely?

The deeper question is, when someone does something so hurtful that we feel it in every bone of our body, can we ever truly forgive? Can we maintain a healthy relationship with someone even if we promise ourselves we will never forget?

forgiveness
noun

1. compassionate feelings that support a willingness to forgive

2. the act of excusing a mistake or offense

(Dictionary.com)

What's your definition?

Patience is a Virtue, Kindness is Too

"Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle."

This well-known mantra is often quoted, but not as often followed. It's one of those things that's easier said than done. Sometimes we can't help but react instinctively to someone's actions. But, what if everyone actually made the effort to be kinder than necessary to those they met? It's true that everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle. It may be something seemingly small like fighting a cold, stressing over work, or having an argument with a friend, or it could be something bigger like worrying about an ailing relative, or dealing with divorce. Even if it seems like nothing's wrong, chances are that they're just putting on a happy face. So, the next time a co-worker doesn't do what you asked right away, take a second and think before you say something. And, the next time your mother nudges you about the same thing she's been nudging you about for weeks, give her the benefit of the doubt. Even she might be fighting some sort of battle that you don't know about.

And another thing, don't underestimate the power of a genuine compliment. If you think someone's new haircut looks nice, or you like their outfit, tell them! If one of your co-workers helps you out, give them credit and thank them. When one of your friends says they'll be there for you when you need them, and actually follows through, let them know how much you appreciate them.

Make someone smile. Corny though it may sound, when you make someone smile, you'll smile too. And they just might return the favor when you really need it. The key to compliment giving is be genuine. If you don't mean it, don't say it. But at the same time, don't hold back. People will appreciate your words even though they may not show it.

Everyone knows The Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." So, put yourself in someone else's shoes. Take a moment to consider what might be going on behind their cheery facade. Be kind to others and kindness will make its way back to you.